Thousands of miles apart
by Royalperfection
Summary: Oneshot based around Will leaving for the Falklands


Kate shut the door behind her and surveyed the empty home. This was it, the start of 3 months without Wills. 3 months without her husband here to wake her up with her cup of tea. 3 months without him here to tell her how much he loved her. 3 months without their cuddles on the sofa or romantic meals. But worst of all; 3 months without seeing William's face every day. Kate leant back against the door and her knees gave way until she was eventually sitting on the floor, her long brown tresses covering her tear stained face. No Kate, she told herself, don't cry, you promised Will you wouldn't. She brought her slender hand up to her face and wiped away the salty water from underneath her eyes. As she stumbled to her feet, she realised she had to keep herself busy in order to stop the self-misery overwhelming her again. As she walked up the stairs to their bedroom, a crumple from her pocket reminded her of the envelope Will had slipped in there during their final goodbyes. Opening the creased packet, Kate brought out two letters, a familiar scrawl covering the paper. Kate smiled and sat down on the plush bed, the covers engulfing her, to many for just one person. She leant back on the headboard and began the first letter.

_My Darling Catherine,_

_I'm not really sure why I'm writing this letter. In fact, I'm not even sure if I'm going to give it to you, but I need to do something. Something to distract me from this terrible weight that has started pressing down on me, making the future look bleak. There is nothing I would rather do than crawl into a hole and pretend that I never got told, that this isn't going to happen. Pretend that every day is going to be the same as it has been, waking up with your beautiful face next to me. I still can't believe that that isn't going to happen, I've got to a stage where I don't see how I could live without your morning kisses and sweet smiles._

_That's the worst thing, I have to tell you. My sweetheart, my beautiful sweetheart. I know that when I come home today you will come running into my arms, just as you have been doing every day since we moved here. How can I tell that beaming face that I am going away, leaving you to cope by yourself? I can just picture your smile disappearing, those eyes of yours losing their sparkle. What am I supposed to say? Sorry doesn't even begin to cover it. I know you will tell me it's not my fault; that you'll survive. That's what I love about you my precious, you'll try and be strong, you'll be there for me when it should be the other way around. Just picturing the pain in your eyes, the night time sobs you think I won't here, Oh Kate, how can I do this to you?_

_When they told me I simple stared back at them. I knew this was coming, of course I did, but I'd pushed it to the back of my mind. You had stolen all the room in my head, leaving me only with thoughts of your perfection. I cried, I'll admit it. I walked out that room, ran to the car and sat there sobbing. I didn't even feel childish, because what child could know such love as I do, how could they know how my heart was being ripped in two? 3 months, almost 90 days without you. I still don't think my brain can process it._

_Of course, the public will be told eventually. My father's already working out when we should tell them, oblivious of the pain I am trying to hide. Harry, well Harry understands, he always did. He's promised to look after you, said he won't let you be alone. But how can he give you the love and attention you deserve? He has his own life to live, and I have mine, except now I'm going to have to live it thousands of miles away from you. _

_Someone just called me, it's time for my next shift, and after this I have to come home and tell you. Do I have to? I'd much rather keep you in a happy state of oblivion for as long as possible so you won't have to endure what I am feeling. But I know I owe you the truth. That's what I love about you darling, you're the one person I can always be honest to, well, if I didn't you'd work it out anyway._

_I must sound so soppy and insecure, but I wanted to catch this moment. This will probably get torn up and binned, it's already tear stained enough, but it's for you darling. I love you. Whatever happens, next, that is never going to change. My heart is yours and I'm never getting it back._

_With all my love,_

_William_

Kate traced the words with her finger, the letters becoming harder and harder to make out through the moisture that was blurring her vision. "Oh Will," she whispered, as she pulled the duvet up to her chin, his musky scent still detectable. She re-read the letter again and again, wanting to be with William as he wrote it, hugging him and wiping away his tears as he had done to her that night. The night when he'd told her. She thought back to the fake smile they'd both worn over the dinner that night. The hugs and laughs she'd hidden her shock and fear behind. Then at night, at night when everything had threatened to overwhelm her, when she realised she wouldn't be sharing the bed with anyone for three whole months, that the house would be hers and hers alone. As soon as the first whimper had escaped her lips Will had been holding her tight, soothing her hair and telling her it was alright to cry, that she wasn't weak or selfish, that she was the strongest person he knew. And that whole time he had been feeling like this, and Kate hadn't even noticed. Her whole body shook as she cried endlessly; this time there was no one there to comfort her. Despite the pain and heartache it was causing her, Kate wanted to keep reading. She wanted to know her husband's thoughts, to understand what he was going through even if she couldn't be there with him. She slowly unfolded the second letter and held it in her quivering hand.

_My beautiful Kate,_

_I write this as I lie in bed next to you, knowing this time tomorrow you will be here alone, and that breaks my heart. I don't know why I've decided to write again, maybe it's because it preserves my feelings, and I don't want to forget the love that overwhelms me at this moment. Maybe it's because in words I can write down what I can't say, for fear of my emotions ruining it. All I know darling, is that it's you that's making me feel like this. As I observe your peaceful face, lying so close to mine, my heart expands to the point I don't feel it will fit in my chest anymore. Your dazzling green eyes are hidden behind your pale lids, and your rosy lips are slightly parted, revealing your perfectly crooked teeth. I want to memorize your lovely face just as it is now, so when I'm alone I only have to close my eyes to picture you._

_I love you, have I told you enough? Every day since the day I received the news I've been telling you how much you mean to me, in the hope you can hold onto that when I'm not here. How can I live with the guilt, the guilt of knowing that I am breaking your heart? Every day since our wedding has been the best day of my life. Being able to call you my wife gives me the happiest glow, and no one can take that from me. I love you and everyone knows that. Everyone can see just how lucky I am. Every day your smile drives me forwards, your silky laugh giving me the boost I need. Catherine, I live for you, and you are what helps me live._

_Look after yourself darling, please. If anything happens to you while I'm gone... it doesn't even bare thinking about. Just knowing that I can't comfort you when you're feeling down, or share in your happiness, make me feel so terrible. Just knowing that tears may fall from your face and I won't be there to wipe them away makes my heart cry out in pain. Knowing that you'll be happy and I won't be there to share in it makes me feel like such a traitor. But Kate, you've been so strong, telling me to enjoy myself, to stop worrying and feeling guilty, even when you yourself are falling apart inside. I'll never stop worrying about you, because what else have I got to hold onto?_

_Please don't feel lonely when I'm gone, because you'll be in my thoughts every single day. Whatever I may be doing, it'll be the thought of you that gets me through. Don't worry about me, I'll look after myself and the thought of you will keep me safe._

_I can't believe the day has finally come, the day when I must say goodbye to you. I don't know how to say goodbye, because deep down, I don't know if I truly can. If I cry sweetheart, please don't be embarrassed, I'm crying for you. I'm trying not to think of all the moments I'm going to miss; of our cuddles and 'other activities' I'm going to have to live without. But most of all, it's just you. Living without you is going to be challenge enough._

_I should probably go to sleep now. I already know when I'm going to give this to you, in the hope it will keep me close to you. I will call and write to you every day, that's a promise I will keep forever. I love you. I didn't even know love this strong was possible, but it is. No matter where we both are, my love for you will never fail._

_With love now and always,_

_Your faithful husband,_

_William_

Kate brought the letter up to her trembling lips, "I love you too Will," she whispered.

Hundreds of miles up in the air, William felt a tingle run down his spine.


End file.
